Review of Life After Church

By Jeff, Part 1 of 2

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. A combination of busyness and lack of creative thinking left me with not much to write that is worth reading. Even so, I just finished a book titled “Life After Church” and submit the following for your consideration…

Life After Church. Interesting title. It’s really a play on words – redefining what church means for many people. After all, for the Christian there is no life after church. Perhaps there is life after a particular kind of church, but as followers of Jesus we are called to commit to a group in order to be church.

The author, Brian Sanders, offers a helpful resource for those considering a move away from a traditional church environment. He has been a pastor in traditional settings only to grow tired of the planning, programming and the lack of missional focus. So, after a season of prayer with a small group of like minded people, he set out to develop house churches built around mission. The network that developed around these groups is known at the Tampa Underground. (www.tampaunderground.com)

I found the book especially intriguing because of my own history in church. Since I was a child, I’ve been a part of at least 15 different congregations. We never stayed more than 5 years anywhere and always left because we felt God wanted us to. I mean no disrespect to my family, but looking back, it was too easy to say that God wanted us to leave. In fact, we almost always joined the very next church we visited. The new church was always the church God wanted us to join.

So, what are good reasons to leave a church? Sanders gives the following advice if you consider leaving a church…

1. Leave to faithfully follow Jesus, not because you are disgruntled or disagree
2. Stay positive by exiting gracefully, share any honest negative feelings with those that can handle it, not with everyone
3. Talk about the future, what you are pursuing not the negative that you are leaving. Sanders acknowledges the slight even in the positive. But, he adds that “people will read a critique into your remark only if they already see that flaw.”
4. Plan to finish well.
5. Replace yourself. Help the church find someone to fill your current role.
6. Say thank you to the people who need to hear it. Don’t leave to follow God’s will, only to leave in a way that violates his character.

Let’s say though, that you are considering leaving, but really would like to stay. Sanders suggests the following…

1. Stay fully engaged, but don't stay constantly complaining and feeling unhappy with the vision of the church.
   
2. Stay for change, but don’t stay only to leave angry, isolated, and end up less committed to God.
3. Stay because you believe God wants you to.
4. Settle the question about leaving and stop asking it for a while. Decide in your mind that you are staying, rather than keep going back and forth.
5. Honor the leaders you are under. Much of what happens in a church is beyond the control of leadership, though you may blame them for what happens. Pray for love and forgiveness. Offer grace to your leaders.
6. Look for ways in, not out. If God wants you to stay, He wants you involved. You are not there just to occupy space or be some martyr for staying.

Overall, I recommend this book for pastors, church leaders, and anyone who is thinking about leaving a church. It was helpful for me to consider the continuum that people often go through in leaving or staying. It was helpful for me because I know several people who are right in the middle of that choice.

Sanders offers helpful advice and thoughtful ways to make a decision. He writes as someone who has gone from stayer, to leaver, to reformer himself. In fact, many people who are leaving churches today are the “doers.” They end up helping to reform the church. They are leaving for deeper forms of community – small groups, house churches, networks like tampaunderground.com.

These are the positive things I found in the book. They far outweigh the negative. Part 2 will deal with a few criticisms.

Jeff